Sunday, October 7, 2012

My Sponsor

I love the very beginning of Fall: cool temps and frosty leaves, but this weekend Winter rushed in too quickly turning the hardwood floor of my apartment into something not worthy of bare feet. I asked Cole to take out my window ac units (one in my daughters room and the other in the living room), which is quite a feat considering I live on an upper level and those things are heavy as a chevy. I hate acting like the helpless female, but I have no idea what I'd do without Cole. And he expects nothing from me, not even a "friends with benefits" thing. It's somewhat ironic that the only guy I actually do want to be intimate with, is the only one who never asks for it.

"How's business?" he asked, as he pulled the ladder out from the bed of his truck.

"Good." I hate when he asks about my "massage business." I'm always tight-lipped, hoping to get off the subject quickly. And knowing me the way that he does, he picks up on this.

He pauses, ladder still in hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's fine." He thinks I'm not making enough. He worries.

"Because if you need it, you know you can always..."

I put up a hand before he finishes. He's always offering money, but I just can't take it. I'd rather find a SugarDaddy. And honestly, I think it's come to that. Body rubs are great money, but some days it's hit or miss. I've considered going back to stripping but I'm a little off my game and somehow going back to the club feels like backtracking. And who would I get to watch my daughter late at night? In the old days of stripping, I had a live-in boyfriend who handled that. Getting a boyfriend just so that I can go back to stripping doesn't seem very honest. So I'm now seriously considering the SugarDaddy thing, which at least is an up-front transaction: my time and body for your monthly money. One of the more clearly defined relationships in my life. I have two options I'm considering: one is a well-groomed, spiffy, 50-something married man and the other is a 60-something, even wealthier widower who LOVES a woman's body but I know from our sessions that he can't get it up. Not even with pills. So there you have it. I'm a list maker so I've drawn up columns of pros and cons. I'm let it marinate but it looks like I have no other option that to take the plunge so that I can get that $3000 retainer for a family law attorney.