Sunday, April 28, 2013

Sales and Posts

I just wanted to give a big thanks and MWAH to my readers. Book sales have been relatively good and I never would've self-published if it wasn't for the readers who liked my posts. I know a lot of people like to keep their identity hidden, but just by reading this little blog, it helps, because it pushes up the daily hits, and encourages me.

So, anyway, I might be doing a little giveway in the next few days. I just have to figure out how all that works.

At the moment, I'm putting my parlor plans on hold. It's tempting, but I'm not sure it's the best move. I have gotten some questions about what it was like working in the massage place, so I might be posting about that.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

If it sounds too good to be true...she might be a cop

You might have read about Quentin Groves getting busted for soliciting a prostitute.

There's so much to comment on in this story, like why a multi-millionnarie would bargain shop for sex. I mean, there are some things I don't like to spend money on, like chapstick, but do you really want generic or dollar-store quality when it comes to sex? But I digress. Quentin should have known something was up when full service was listed as $100, unless of course it's taking place in a parking lot, OR the fact that anal was a mere $20 extra.

Having an incriminating conversation over the phone was also not a good idea. And I'm guessing he didn't check reviews beforehand, because, ahem, cops don't usually have them.

In any case, it's a lesson for other hobbyists. Don't go over details on the phone, check for reviews, and if the price sounds too good to be true....

Friday, April 19, 2013

Confessions of An Erotic Masseuse by Alexa Salinger

I decided to compile my writings in this book, available as an e-book from Amazon for 99 cents.

I had to take down some of the posts from this blog because Amazon wouldn't allow me to sell a book when the content is freely available. I added a lot more information than what was on this blog, including how Cole and I started officially dating (!).

I tried to get an editor to help me with the book but was told it "wasn't for me," so all editing is done by me. If you find a typo, please let me know and I'll fix it right away. Hope you enjoy! xoxo

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Opening a Parlor

It's a long story and one I haven't blogged much, but Cole and I are dating. Yes, it's official and that means I need to stop being an erotic masseuse.

I could give it up and just rely on a respectable part-time job and financial aid for dental hygiene school...but I have a better idea: I'd like to open my own massage parlor. I wouldn't be doing the touching, I'd be doing the managing. And that isn't like cheating, right? I've saved a little so I have money to get it going. The difficult part if finding the girls. I haven't had a lot of luck so far by placing ads on backpage, so I think I need to get creative.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

More Backpage Scams...

I thought of a couple more that I'd heard from clients.

1. One scam is the "Oh, gee, that $150 is just for me to show up at the door." And then the escort will itemize a list of sexual activities, so that the equivalent of a "girlfriend experience" will cost you as much as a Thai wife. I hear this trick is particularly common in Vegas, where they hand out flyers for $100 escorts. As they say, if it sounds too good to be true....

2. Another scam is usually done by a quasi-legal pimp agency, that'll sorta make it sound like they're sending an escort, but then when she shows up, By Golly, she can't do any of those things because they are illegal! She can only strip and you can service yourself. Unless of course, you're willing to pay her liek $1000 and then she's pretty much open to anything.

Both of these scams are definitely of the one-timing variety and are done by agencies or pimps, because most independents want to encourage repeat customers. That's my opinion of course.

Just more to think about before you make an appointment. Again, reviews are the way to avoid both of these.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Skill Every Body Rub Girl Should Know putting on fake eyelashes. It's probably the easiest way to look sexy. What could be better than come-hither eyes?

However, if you've ever tried to put them on, you know it's a harder skill to possess than a hand job.

In the beginning, I tried and gave up. But after watching a few Youtube videos (I'm not posting links because they aren't sponsoring me), I think I have it mastered. It's a great return on your investment ($3). Other options are lash extensions, which are extremely expensive ($180 for the first time and costly follow-up) or Latisse (requires commitment and diligence). Lash extensions are also a huge time suck and even Latisse can become a bother as it has to be applied twice a day and takes about 6-8 weeks to see results.

The trick to false eyelashes is making sure it's really secure on both ends. Even if you aren't a sex worker, it's a good first-date  or kindle-the-romance move.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Newbie Mistakes

If you're nervous about going to a rub for the first time, it's best to do a little research beforehand, such as reading CJ's blog or your local review board, google a few things for heaven's sakes, but please, oh please, don't ask your provider to explain how things work. Or worse, make assumptions.

John called to book an appointment. He sounded nice and normal.

"Do you have any specials?"

"Nope," I say. I rarely runs specials anymore.

"Ok. Would you take $120?"

I charge $140 per hour and I almost never get negotiators.

"No, sorry, I won't, but I'm sure there are other girls who would. Good luck."

"Um, no, that's okay, we'll just do the $140."

I hesitated and from now on I might pass on any negotiators. One reason is that "negotiating" is one way girls like me get arrested. It makes it clear to the cop that you are doing this or that for money. And then there is the fact that it comes across as cheap.

Against, my better judgment, I booked with him within the hour. I told myself that he'd have to pay upfront because I didn't want him to finish and say, "oops, I only have..."

And if he didn't want to pay upfront, I was okay with skipping the appointment.

When I greet him, he's practically sweating buckets, hands shaking. I feel sorry for him. As soon as he gets in the room, he turns and asks "how does this work?"

He's still fully dressed. (Could be wearing a wire).

"Did you read my reviews?"

He shook his head. "I'm new at this."

I paused, told him I wouldn't go into details before he undressed.

(Keep in mind I advertise under BODY RUBS, not escorts, and my ad actually says in bold, NOT AN ESCORT)

"So, do I provide the condom or do you take care of that?"

I immediately opened my studio door and waved him towards it. "You have the wrong idea."

"But, but, " he stutters. "I just thought with the sexy photos..."

"Okay, goodbye," I say as I close the door.

He was either a cop or horrendously misinformed about what $140 will buy him in this town.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Backpage Scams

I learn a lot from my clients. Such as what it's like to go to other providers (escorts, body rubbers) in my town.

I have one client in particular, who comes to see me frequently, but like most, samples others.

Scams abound online, that's nothing new, but when it comes to providers it's usually either a bait-and-switch (shit--that's not the girl in the picture!!) or in some cases theft.

I hadn't seen Charles in a couple weeks, so I assumed he was sampling. When he came back to me, he had stories.

One ad showed gorgeous photos and when he showed up to her incall, she was "50-70" pounds heavier than the pics. In addition, the girl in the photos wasn't even 70 pounds ago. He told her he'd "pass."

Be wary of "two for one" sales (as in two girls). I've heard of guys getting girl takes the guy into the bedroom to distract him and the other steals his stuff.

A new one that Charles recently shared was an ad that promoted a $150/hr incall. Now that's a good price for sex, but, oh, um, you have to pay for a cam show first.

Best way to avoid scams? Check reviews! Don't go shopping when you're hungry.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

It's Time

I started seeing a counselor, which is more gentle term for therapist, or shrink. I have some unresolved issues, apparently. I think maybe the more journaling I was doing made me realize it would be good to actually talk to someone. This blog is great, but it can't set me right.

You can't work in the sex industry for many years without having an incident or two. I'll spare you the details, but I won't spare my shrink, when I get to that. We haven't gotten there yet. Mainly I've just talked about my feelings for Cole, difficulties of raising my daughter alone, and my fear about my upcoming court date with her father.

I've been writing more, starting from the beginning, and it's cathartic. We'll see where it goes. I'm not sure what I fear more: being honest with myself or my new counselor.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Where's Waldo's Pecker?

When my client flipped over yesterday (on the massage table), he had a doorbell where his penis should have been. Seriously, there was nothing and I panicked. How was I supposed to stroke something that had the length of a thimble?

I NEVER comment on a guy's privates in a session and I certainly wasn't going to ask him what was up with his. And I'm glad he had his eyes closed when I first looked at it. This wasn't an issue of small, it was hidden, not even the entire head was showing.

He said nothing, I said nothing and I continued to do what I do, massaging his front, body sliding his doorbell, waiting for an idea. Eventually, once he became erect, he popped out. It wasn't big, but it was stroke-worthy.

Apparently, he had an inverted penis. This is my conclusion from googling "doorbell and penis." The Internet truly is amazing, isn't it?