Tuesday, September 3, 2013

"You Must Get A Lot of Weirdos..."

I think you can call something a trend after you've heard the same phrase, oh, maybe a couple dozen times, not that I'm grabbing a pen mid-stroke to tally data, but I'm guessing. And because basically these are the things I think of when I'm mid-stroke.

Yes, that's right. I'm back at it. It didn't work out so well with Cole and that's another story for another post. So I was thinking the other day how my body rub patrons frequently comment on how I must get a lot of weirdos or pervs or _____ (insert outlier personality disorder), whereas, in fact, my patrons are all highly normal. Highly normal, as in, more normal than the average person standing in front of you at the checkout at Target. Far more normal than the guy who comes to clear out the sewer line at your apartment complex (okay, that's a freebie because that guy is essentially ankle deep in shit each day), and maybe only slightly more normal than aforementioned ex-boyfriend.

The term "normal" being a nebulous equation of functioning in society, free of addictions, self-harming behavior, excelling professionally, being able to maintain relationships, keep a houseplant alive and such. Perhaps it's the price tag. Although I do take credit cards. I also like to think I can get a sense of someone over the phone. Weirdos don't have normal phone conversations, usually it begins with a halting query: Are you shaved? Trust me, you can tell A LOT about a person by their phone voice. It's the reason many body rub girls let it go directly to voicemail before they make a decision.

So, I have no idea why my clientele are abnormally normal or why my patrons think they are likely in the minority, but they do. It's just a little observational data on my part. You see I'm taking a statistics class in college, which sparked my ruminations. You can bet that I didn't raise my hand to share with the class though.