Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Now Hiring

One of the most difficult aspects of operating a Sensual Massage Business (sorry, I just can't call it a parlor, it's like the word "panties"... gross), is finding the girls or "women" if you're a feminist. Although not too many feminists work as sensual body rubbers, so I guess we're good with girls, but I digress.

The far majority of women in the United States do not want to do the work of an erotic masseuse even with the potential of earning ten times minimum wage with essentially no skills. If you're a women reading this, you're probably nodding vehemently. If you're a guy, you probably look puzzled. It's one of those gender differences, like income disparities, although in this profession, a woman will make A LOT more than her male counterpart, basically because men won't make anything offering to masturbate women.

But there are freaks of nature, such as Aubree and myself, who apparently don't mind milking the cash cow. And occasionally enjoy the scandalous (and lucrative) aspects of the job. I've decided to embrace it, and fuck anybody who finds out what I do. Do you hear that, Cole?

So anyway, Aubree has been determined to bring in some new girls, mostly from strips clubs and the massage place where we both used to be employed. My part of the hiring process has involved an ad on Backpage, guaranteeing $60 per hour, which has yielded zilch. Like I said, no one wants to do this. It makes me realize how "special" I am.

Aubree was able to convince one girl, "Brandi" to come in and see our place, meet me, etc. I had a vague recollection of Brandi from the massage parlor (ok, I'll call that place a parlor because it was gross). I recall something about the other girls accusing her of stealing their lunches from the communal fridge. The word was that Brandi was bulimic, binging and them purging on the other girls Hot Pockets. Like I said, though, one can't be too picky and the up side to a bulimic is that they aren't averse to bodily fluid contact in the spirit of  getting the job done.

When Brandi showed up, she looked a bit sleepy, which was slightly disturbing considering it was two o'clock in the afternoon. The good thing about Brandi, though, is that she doesn't have much of a chip on her shoulder, so she'll take direction. This is all according to Aubree, who convinced me prior to the "interview" that Brandi would be a good worker, with a little direction. This could be an I.Q. deficiency, but again, one can't be that picky.