Friday, August 8, 2014

Free Erotica

They say, "Write what you know..."

Free on Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and Smashwords, Sorority Run I.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

A psycho wife

It's been forever. I know. If you read my book and saw me drop off from posting you may have thought that I got a respectable job and wanted to put all my hand job shenanigans to rest. Think again. And again and again, because I've been giving hand jobs almost daily. The thing that made me lay low was that someone's psycho wife was plotting to destroy me. And she had done the same to another erotic masseuse in town. 

But now, however, I have learned her name, and more importantly her contact information. Not to harass, mind you, just to let her know that I know who she is. Tit for tat, if you will, just to clarify that if she continues to fuck with me, well, I guess I haven't figured that part out as I am a non-violent, tree-hugging, vegan, but still, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE LADY!

Better yet, I know her husband, and his O face. And maybe I take pictures. Maybe.

People like Mrs. Psycho are often quite brave when calling from a blocked number or emailing from a proxied ip, but once their identity is known, they tend to back off, cower behind the bushes from which they were throwing stones. Particularly when said psycho has a respectable job, an outwardly respectable husband, a small dog, children, and is active in her church. Fucking Christians are the worst kind of humans. 

So, I'll start from the beginning. One day, while working at the spa, I received a call to our "work" phone from an "unknown" number. These are generally scaredy-cat dudes who we don't book with. We need a real name for screening purposes and blocked numbers usually lead to a lot of "Hi, my name is John Smith," in a shaky, ready-to-crap-his-pants voice.

Usually the John Smiths don't leave a message, but there was one. I listened and it was the sarcastic bitchy voice of a wife who claimed I had seen her husband. She knew my real name, she knew my child's name, she had read my book last night, and even pinpointed one person that I mentioned in the book (a non-client) to the actual real-live person in our community. It was creepy. She assured me that she'd inform my landlord as well as other people in my life. She peppered her message with little details that someone could only know if they had dug very deep. You do not get to threaten me, or more importantly mention my child's name without getting every ounce of my attention. 

To be continued tomorrow.....(unless psycho lady kills me)